Zaara Sodhi, Mumbai
The other day when I heard the acclaimed Britney Spears’ song ‘Toxic’, the lyrics “I’m addicted to you but you know that you’re toxic’’ reminded me of the toxic positivity that is so common
these days. We can’t go through social media without coming across a positive quote or an inspiring story that makes us feel that our situation may not be as catastrophic as we make it
out to be. Sometimes, holding on to the tiniest shred of hope during challenging times and having a positive mindset can help us overcome difficult circumstances, but this isn’t true for
everyone as positivity isn’t always the best solution.
The question that arises is how can positivity be toxic? Toxic positivity states that no matter how drastic the circumstances, people should maintain a positive attitude towards the situation at hand. Due to societal pressure and the mindset of always being content and happy with the things we have in life, sometimes we stop expressing ourselves and how we truly feel.
How many times have we heard these commonly used phrases, “Good Vibes Only”, “Look on the Bright Side” or “It could have been worse?’’ Though well-meant, too much of a
good thing can be bad. This is also applicable to positivity.
Schools and colleges play a huge role in promoting this idea as educators and the school staff constantly tell us to chin up and look on the bright side. For decades, there has been a huge
emphasis on smiling. People at a corporate job are expected to plaster fake smiles whenever a potential client walks in when in fact fake smiles have often been called disingenuous and have
popularly been termed as Botox smiles.
Social media can be a fake world with people trying to project their so-called perfect lives to make us think that they are handling things much better than we are. But in reality, they too are struggling with issues like us. It’s okay to be cautious of social media as people tend to put their best foot forward and rarely post their flaws. CNN’s Saturday host Michael Smerconish made disturbing revelations about the case of 22-year Gabby Petito who has been missing since she left for a road trip with her fiancé. Her Instagram handle projects her life as an absolute dream and her as an upbeat, cheery and ever optimistic person, but now there are indications that she was most probably in an abusive relationship with her fiancé. This makes us ask a crucial question- is social media life real or not?
The infamous Larry Nasser scandal is another sad and disappointing example of toxic positivity. While Larry Nasser continued assaulting these young gymnasts, the American Gymnastic Association backed and lauded him with praise. Girls as young as 13 years were victims of his assault and they simply did not dare to be the first whistle-blower. Instead, they pretended that all was hunky-dory and performed with their heads held up high. We need to realize that “it’s okay not to be okay’’ and remove the expectation of feeling positive all the time and express our genuine feelings.
Here are a few ways to battle toxic positivity :
Acknowledge that negative emotions are a natural part of life instead of shutting them out
Don’t yearn for people’s validation of your emotions because not everyone copes the same way.
Keep a diary or journal to vent out your thoughts and anxieties
Consider talking about your feelings with an open mind to those who are non-judgemental and accept each other’s views.
To conclude, in my opinion, toxic positivity is like a disease to society that encourages people to ignore their emotions thus escalating them. Sure, it is great to have a positive frame of mind but no one can be positive all the time. We need to do better and normalize the fact that it is okay to feel more than one emotion at a time.
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